Over the last few months I have been struggling intensely over the issue of Orthodoxy, East Orthodox Theology, Church History, and how the new-found knowledge I have gained is, or has already affected, my walk with the Lord. I have Puzzled over this in my mind for the last few months, and what I have actually found is that when I rely on my own understanding, I end up in hopeless confusion and despair, and useless for any purposes that God could have for me otherwise. I stop listening to his voice, the prodding of the Spirit of God, when my own mind is cluttered with thoughts about what is right, and How to rightly praise and worship the lord. I have not been puzzling over what is truth. That has been firmly established in my mind, and my heart. Truth is following the light that comes from God, and increases as we draw nearer to him. Truth is the inner calling of the Spirit of the Lord. Not what we want to hear, but what we DO hear when we honestly humble ourselves before him, "Judge Ourselves rightly", and in the stillness meditate on his word. Truth is the beauty of the fulfillment that comes in knowing that I can approach the throne of God without fear, and I can draw nearer to the source of life and love without hesitation.
I believe that when God imparts the Holy spirit onto us, he gives us all of himself. All of his Glory, all of his light, and all his love, all his truth, and all his power he gives to us. We must all individually learn to perceive the spirit he has given us in greater degrees. Maybe this, this holy spirit that gives us access to God's light, and brings him to us is what Orthodoxy means by deification. The process of getting to know the spirit that God has imparted to us in greater degrees. In the old testament, the spirit of God would dwell among the people. This spirit was represented by the seven lights on the lampstand before the Curtain. It was the only source of light, apart from the shekinah that shone from behind the curtain when God's presence was among them. I believe it was called the manora. That lampstand represented the spirit of God. That spirit now dwells in every Gathering of believers. And if the spirit of God dwells among them, then they are my brothers. The spirit of God is also the light of God.
Our God is a mobile God. He moves where his people move; where there are people that have chosen to listen to his voice go. He was not stuck inside a building In the days when isreal was in the desert. He resided in a tent among the people. In the middle of the people. The tent was a safe haven, and a place where people could go and see his light (glory, shekinah) among them. God is among us, and God will be among whoever chooses to draw near to his glory, to his son, to his word, and to his light.
In every Congregation, there are those among them who do not truly believe. Who are going through the motions, and do not have a desire to draw near to God. And it does not matter if that person is Orthodox, or Catholic, Or Protestant, If they have not experienced a genuine encounter with the power of God, they will not truly love him, and will not truly love light.
I believe that now, as I am coming to the end of one of many bouts with confusion that I have already had in my life, I will choose to follow in C.S. Lewis' footsteps. I will choose to find what is common among all who truly believe, and truly hold on to the promises that God has given to all people. I have alot to learn, from a lot of different people.
What is the mark of a Christian anyway? It is a life yearning for God's light, which exists not in theological or philosophical musings, but in the life, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, The Love of God my father, and the Guidance, Glory, and power imparted to every believer by the holy spirit.
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